测试成功，我可以开始话痨了。我动笔的诱因是今天看见贝贝写的博，于是对自己一直没有尽到写博的义务感到愧疚，好像我又白活了一阵子。实在不知道怎么补述自己的生活，我决定还是翻出我同学的facebook发言来引用一下，btw，他写这句的时候，我们的生活显然还没达到最高潮。

Sep 12, 2009 "After two midterms, two quizzes, one essay, three group assignments, several problem sets and a fellowship application in just 3.5 weeks, I'm beginning to ask myself, whatever happened to being able to just kick back and network in business school?"

See?? That’s my life! No, should be, that was my life. Please, just imagine how it is growing, healthily.

人永远都要为自己的懒惰负责。我每次都很后悔不能更多的写日记写生活里的小事情，像贝贝说的写实派。

纽约带回来的花还在我的窗口顽强的活着，看得人这叫心疼。我想起来最后一次在医院看见姥姥，她不能说话，就在纸上写字，我觉得我还能好。让人心扯着疼。生命无力的顽强，像我漂亮的花。早晚要死的，可它偏不服气，撑着。

妆化了没用洗了看不见了就算了。我穿裙子的那天刮风下雨差不多0度，回来ithaca的这天万里无云20度，i say fuck new york，也就算了。半夜两点一起剪好的纸片用不上，装进盒子藏起来也就算了。可是为什么这些花就是不肯死去。我宁可它们第二天就枯萎的不成样子，可是，它们已经从15号撑到了今天。我家就好像重症监护室。它们是我见过最美的花。

As freezing as it was, as annoying as it was, I thought it could not be the perfect day. But when i stood in front of you, when i looked into your eyes, i knew i was wrong. And today, right now after these many days, I just realized that the day means far more than “perfect” for me. It is really special. I mean it.

I miss Beijing more than ever. I miss somewhere called home. There's something that life has been trying to teach me by some accidents and unhappiness recently, i guess. I didn't get it but maybe i begin to. 

前天他在电话里跟我聊到离婚。他问我你不是说离婚不一定是不快乐的选择吗。我说不，我说的是，离婚不一定是最不好的选择。有时候人只能选择相对不那么痛苦的一种。说这话的时候我突然发现，纽约教了我点什么。别以为生活就该着美好。谁说过10月15日天气晴朗25度？过去我兴许也说过这样气势的话，可是我那时候指定比现在心高气傲不倒霉。直到前天电话的时候，我才赫然发现我竟然对别人的痛苦有了更多的empathy。这当然是好事，谁说不是。谁敢说不是。

真的有这首歌，New York i love you, but you are bringing me down! I miss you, all.